that I lived without emotion;
live without this:
the confusion, the fear they engender;
the source, fearing the target.
live as though upon a frozen throne –
it not for the agony ice itself creates
hole where the memory of warmth would sit,
a star turned black.
still fear being turned in these tides,
waves I can scarce comprehend,
so I am torn –
live a life bearing this worldly weight,
directionlessly about like a twig in rapids;
alive, terribly, gloriously, alive.
to close within a shell;
yes, but cold.
all else goes on without.
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