Story by "Libbie"

 

I am 20 years old starting my third year of college, and have been dealing with what I'm positive is depersonalization disorder for about 6 months

 I have not yet confirmed this, but after visiting this website just last night, something finally clicked. I have seen a few doctors who have tested my thyroid gland, and I have switched my method of birth control twice. After nothing changed for about 3 months, I began to wonder if it was something else. I thought maybe depression, but I wasn't always sad, just a little more than normal.

I went along doing my normal tasks like school, sports, hanging out with family and friends, and even being with my boyfriend. but something was really wrong. it wasn't me. 

Since this Summer, something has felt wrong, and it has persisted every single day since then. I finally sat down with my parents, and was suddenly able to describe what I was feeling the best I could. My mom really wanted to finally help me, and went online to do some searches.

She came upstairs and showed me just a few sentences from this website. I was so happy to read someone's words that is experiencing this, and be able to match it with what I am going through. I was completely blown away by all of your stories. They both touched me and scared me. I think I experienced one of my larger panic attacks. I was trying to think why I could have developed this disorder. One of my friends committed suicide late February, and I have not been the same since. I have tried mushrooms once, and smoked pot sometimes for a number of years, but I was never really into it. I'm reluctant to think those things caused it, but what else would it be?

I feel as though I am at the beginning of this process, and I have hope, but I imagine dealing with this for years to come, and I begin to panic. I've lost so much time already. I'm scared to take the med's because I've never taken anything like that before. I totally agree with many of the symptoms everyone is talking about, but right now, I'm exhausted from talking about it with my parents all day. But, I would be so grateful to talk to someone about this. I'm hopefully seeing a doctor about this next week, and now I can better express myself thanks to this website, instead of sounding like an idiot. I would love for someone to respond to this, even if it's for me to keep my chin up. I'm fighting right now, and I sort of sometimes have control. thank you everyone who expressed your feelings. I'm not alone, and neither are any of you. 

 

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