Story by Fatmatmang

 

When my friend Mike told me about Depersonalization Syndrome, i was very surprised. I always knew that i had something that caused me to see myself as if i was someone else telling me what to say, or simply just pausing in the middle of a conversation and thinking about what i had just said and and trying to figure out why i stopped in th first place, like i was Psycho or something. i,  I am not always seeing the world through this depersonalized view.  One minute i can be normal, happy, and enjoy shit i usually have fun doing, and when the depersonalization kicks in, i start concentrating on nothing, kind of the way you watch a cartoon, and will  not show any emotion to even the funniest thing in the world.  The weird thing is, that i am aware of it when i am like that, and feel bad when i am with friends, because i don't know how i am supposed to react to things, and i don't want to give them a wrong impression about me. cuz i know who i really am and i am not happy with myself how i am now. Sometimes when i look in the mirror, i think, Who am I? Who is this person, and why is he who he is? and does everyone who sees this person see what he sees himself as. I know i can't explain what i feel that well, but when i heard Mike and Harold's perspective on it, i started to understand it, and i knew i wasn't alone.  I don't know if i would think i had this disorder if i hadn't tried marijuana.  What i mean is, my symptoms of Depersonalization started to appear more and the ones i already had became more pronounced, and visible to me.

         Thanx mike and Harold for Showing me about this disorder, because now i can understand what is wrong with me


 

Back To Stories