Story by "Wendi"


I was reading some information on WebMD about Lexapro--which I am currently taking and decreasing the dosage.  I found a link to the word "depersonalization" and I am amazed!
That is the feeling the I had when I was a kid.  I would feel as if, all of the sudden, I was outside of myself.  I felt like I was dreaming.  When I spoke, it wasn't me talking.
These episodes usually came on when I was being overactive--playing with friends, in a group of people.  And, I remember these episodes happening when it was getting toward night time.
One instance, in particular, took place when I was under the age of 10 and I was playing outside with a group of friends.  I was with  my family at a cookout.
I started feeling this way and I went up to my mom and said "I don't feel right."  "I feel like I'm not really here."
She made me sit down and told me that I was "dizzy." 
I will never forget the way that I felt that night.  I've felt like that often in the past few years. 
Sometimes I will just drop out of a conversation and take it all in as if I'm not really there.
The most amazing thing about his phenomenon is that, at times, I cannot remember if I dreamed something or if it really happened.  Little things like conversations, instances, jokes--I will think that I really said something but I only said it in my dream!
I've always been a highly imaginative kid.  I lived in a partial dream land--still do.  I'm happier there, it seems.
I've also always wondered what this "feeling" was called--I'm glad that it has a name.


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