Story of joe

 
Iím Joe and Iím 28 years old.  I have been experiencing DP for the last 15 years.  I have read most of the stories on here and can also relate.  My symptoms started in December of í91.  I had an extremely bad cold and fever. I was talking some prescription pills for it.  After about a week or so this "feeling" kicked in.  I felt like I had fallen asleep and never woke up. The voices, people and surroundings were all alien to me. Itís like nothing made sense. This experience felt like a passing thought.  My senses were numb.  Itís like you see life as a big confusing clump of matter. These symptoms lasted 7-8 days and I would regain my "reality" again. After the symptom subsided, Iíd go back and track what I did during the week and find out that it really happened. Another thing I can trace is that I slept a lot during the symptoms. You feel this sense of fear and anxiety-not knowing if you will ever feel like yourself again. Consciously, I tell myself that itís real and that itís only an episode.
Then it happened again after a month- the same feeling taking control of my mind. You are trying to explain yourself to people and all they can do is look at you with this expression that youíre crazy. These symptoms have come and gone constantly throughout the years.     
Over the years I have been treated with several prescription drugs such as paxil, clonazepam, fluoxetine, and a few others. Though, they have worked and I have not had a major symptom since 2000. Every person that Iíve talk to about it canít believe me. My family doctor at first compared this feeling to Psychosis.
Other doctors have linked depression, panic and fear to this symptom. But, it's only when Iím in this state that I feel depressed and fearful.
I have been off medication for 5 years now and coping. I feel as if the symptoms have left an effect aside from the total feeling. I remain feeling somewhat distant from myself and it's like I "donít get the whole picture", if that makes any sense; almost like I see reality as a passing thought (sort of what Iím experiencing typing this). I've learned to tolerate it since there is no option. I keep myself busy and focus on tasks to mask the feeling. I know I will never be able to enjoy life as I should. I would really like to hear other people's views and converse with them with their own experiences. If anyone wants to contact me, feel free: lotdk_05@yahoo.com
 

 

 

Back To Stories