HI!

Share your story
Post Reply
K8J1Z
Posts: 1
Joined: Fri Nov 15, 2019 8:56 pm

HI!

Post by K8J1Z » Fri Nov 15, 2019 9:27 pm

My name is Kate. I live in Chicago. I recently attended the Midwest branch meeting and I will be doing so again this Saturday. I'm glad this forum is starting and hopeful it can be a positive place where people find hope and recovery and community.

My story is that my family was rather emotionally distant. I think my mother has PTSD from childhood abuse and on my dad's side there is some genetic type stuff that maybe is related to aspergers disorder, which my half-brother was diagnosed with. I felt very scared, kind of zoned out a lot as a child, felt outside of everything, was very worried and obsessive about big ideas like death and the universe from a very very young age. I had really bad nightmares and I spent a ton of time alone, in my head.

When I got older I started doing drugs and drinking, and smoked a looot of pot, and also had a very bad mushroom trip when I really started to feel detached and alone and disturbed. It seemed to slowly be happening through my late teens and early twenties and then around 23 is when it just became way too much and I felt too afraid and disconnected from everything. I spent a lot of years not really leaving my apartment and I've spent the last six years sober and trying to build more of a life for myself. I'm 36 now. I have taken Clomipramine, the only med that works for me so far, but it slowly stops working over about 8 months or so. I'm currently kind of in between meds and thinking about trying going without meds. If I do this I have to find other things that will keep me afloat and hopefully build some practices that will help me recover some better brain activity (exercise, meditation, I don't know). Things are definitely better in many ways since I've started working on things the past few years but I basically without the help of meds feel constantly stressed and sad and disconnected. For me depersonalization is definitely depression and anxiety x 1000.

I'm really hoping to find some solutions and also to work to get more research and treatments out there. And connect with more people in a positive, solution-based way!

Post Reply