Aimee

I am so thankful that I finally found out what is wrong with me…DID, dissociative disorder…which, by the way, is not rare. It is now believed that as high as 10% of the general population has some level of DID (of which depersonalization is a part)….

Thank you to all of you who are posting your stories on this website. It is very helpful to me to learn what your experiences are.

I was diagnosed about a year ago, quite by accident. I had been seeing a counselor for PTSD which set in around March 2000 when I almost died from multiple infections (staph, bacterial meningitis, endocarditic, pneumonia…accompanied by strokes)…..but, my DID has been affecting me from an abusive childhood….

My counselor was working with me and I could not envision my body, my person, in the screen of my mind (with closed eyes)…she then said she suspected that I have DID…of course, I was full of questions and she said that she wanted me to take some DID testing with a psychologist who specializes in DID…I agreed…I also asked her if she knew of any books that could give me any more information…she gave me the book “The Stranger in the Mirror” by Marlene Steinberg, M.D., and Maxine Schnall…

I remember that, when walking out to my car after that appt with my counselor, I had a feeling, my very first actual literal feeling of HOPE! that for the very first time in my 53 years of life, I now had an answer, the answer to why I have been so unhappy in my life, and, why I have never been able to fully accomplish all of my interests and talents!

I did take the DID testing and it is very clear that I have dissociative disorder. I read The Stranger in the Mirror and it makes everything so much clearer to me. I strongly recommend this book to everyone here. Not only does it include three amazing stories of patients the doctor has worked with, but, self tests you can take, chapters on what dissociation is and is not, and, chapters on recognizing the signs and rating your symptoms…I bought my book from Amazon.com…and, my library also carries it…

In reading many of your stories on this website, I hear you expressing a lot of pain and a lot of hopelessness and helplessness. PLEASE….finding that you have dissociative disorder (DID) with its’ depersonalization symptoms is your FIRST step to finding some real hope in your life. I, myself, now for the first time, feel hope…and, even though, I still experience the pain from my past, I now can look forward and know that as long as I keep working on myself I will progress…

It is important for you to find a counselor who SPECIALIZES in DID. There are not a lot, but, ask around…and, some states have clinics, both inpatient and outpatient, that deal with DID, PTSD, Anxiety Attacks, etc…

Share this post

Share on facebook
Share on google
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on pinterest
Share on print
Share on email

More Stories

My name is Johan and I have had the symptoms of DP for 20 years.  First I’d like to apologize for making abuse on the English language since English is not my native tongue, (Swedish is). I recall the first time I felt strange, it was when our class was in an amusement park, my …
I walk feeling alone in the world. Everyone is here but at the same time they’re not. I feel empty. Is anything what it appears? Am I the only one here? Am I the only on that sees? Where is everyone’s eyes? Why don’t they see what I see? Did they close their eyes to the place I …
Hello My name is Anna I’m gone, not here, don’t want to I guess, too tired sad. I cannot speak, cannot relate, cannot use words. There are no words for me, I cannot. cannot….I’m getting lost. Am I crazy?  Will I end up in a loony bin?  My body is not mine.  I’m an actor …
First let me start by telling you a little about myself. I’m a 23 year old, male to female transsexual, computer programmer. I’ve been fighting with myself most of my life for many reasons. I’ve had panic attacks for most, if not all, of my life. I’m not sure when, or for that matter if, …
My story began when I was 18 years old in 1970. Like so many others here, my first episode of depersonalization followed recreational drug use. I smoked pot occasionally and had taken LSD 4 or 5 times without incident. I was a hippy, we didn’t really worry very much about what we felt were alarmist …
It was only a couple of days ago that I was reading some kind of a medical encyclopedia and was astonished to find out that what I suffered from at the age of 10-12 has a name. Reading through the stories posted here makes me feel both joy and sorrow, having discovered myself and putting …

Share your story