Anonymous 2

I have just recently found the term for what I have been feeling persistently for the last 12yrs. I became acutely aware of the detachment one day driving home from work- I was in a rush to get home to pick up my daughter from the sitters- when I realized that I just didn’t “feel there”. I have lived with that unreal feeling ever since. At first it was just occasional but now, 12yrs later, I am deeper than ever. I struggle every day to just act normal. I really have no feelings, I act on what I think would be the normal response. My husband is aware and tries to understand but I don’t think anyone who has never experienced “it” has any idea. I blame myself for my condition, I lived a pretty wild life in my younger days and think I am dealing with my shame by tuning out, a self protection thing. Years ago I drank a lot, pretty much every time I would black out for up to 12hrs at a time. When I smoked pot along with the alcohol it was much worse. I think during one of those times I was gang raped, I’m not really sure-what an awful feeling! It is so hard not knowing what happened during my blackouts. I never had any real sense of myself, I was looking for love and acceptance. Thankfully I met my husband who accepts me, flaws and all. Together we have become Christians and find our strength there. I don’t understand why The Lord has me on this journey but I do know He will give me the strength to survive and hopefully overcome. Thanks for reading, It has been a comfort to write it down and to know that I am not the only one.

Share this post

Share on facebook
Share on google
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on pinterest
Share on print
Share on email

More Stories

I just found this website the other day when I was looking up information panic anxiety disorder. My life as a child was pretty normal. I went to high school, graduated etc. The summer of my graduation I got in a huge car wreck. I was on ecstasy and was very drunk. I flew out
My name is Maya and I’m 16. I’ve never done drugs majorly, I’ve tried pot like at most 10 times, and I’ve never had a traumatic experience besides this ‘new business’. About 5 weeks ago I had a panic attack. It was late and I got ready for bed like usual, but when I went to
I am glad to have someone to share my experience with. I am 60 yrs old and just found out I’ve have de-personalization since 3 yrs old or earlier. It was always after I went to bed and I would look at my hands and know they were mine, but where was the “me” inside
My saga begins on a street corner in a fairly large city with ” my buddy” Jeff stating the question to me, “I thought you were gonna do all three” in regards to some random pharmaceutical amphetamine tablets, “uppers” as they were called, most likely doled out to weight obsessed housewives back in the late
Hi my name is Sarah, I will just explain the symptoms that i have experienced of depersonalization. I find that when I am concentrating on a project especially something that has to do with my hands or if I have awoken from a nap that is during the day I start to hear a low
When I first found this site, I did not know whether I wanted to view or contribute to it because each of your stories causes me to start panicking a little. But I suppose I find solace in that fact that I am not alone, and if I can provide that for someone else, then

Share your story