Anonymous 7

This is blowing my mind. I cant believe there are other people out there that feel “not here” as well. I like to call it being on “auto-pilot” not that I can’t control what I’m doing, its like my soul has more important matters to deal with than everyday things. Often times I will be driving, know where I’m going, get there then wonder how in the world I made it. I was not aware for most of the trip.  I have an extremely warped sense of my self. Its so strange, the person in the mirror or in pictures is not me. It is not, I feel that to be fact. (though I know its not) I had cancer at 13, which is what I feel triggered it. It was the first time in retrospect, that I would speak about what happened to me, and its not me that I’m talking about, its someone else. I also feel that this is the reason I began cutting myself, I felt so gone and ‘out to lunch’ and oh so damned close to the edge of reality, that I needed to feel pain so I knew I was alive. I am glad to say that I have over come, both cancer and cutting. I hope this is helpful to someone somewhere.

Share this post

Share on facebook
Share on google
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on pinterest
Share on print
Share on email

More Stories

I was diagnosed with Depersonalization Disorder when I was 15. I first started getting the episodes when I was 10, and they scared me but I didn’t tell anyone about them basically because I thought everyone must have these sorts of things happen to them. I mean, I thought that it’s impossible to everyone to
When I was 12, I smoked pot; did meth, drank pretty much, did whatever I could get a hold of drug and alcohol wise, then one night when I was 16, I smoked a joint and got this weird feeling in my head; I thought that my husband might have poisoned me. So I went
I want to say that my severe disconnection from my reality began when I  took LSD with some friends. I was a heavy drug-user. Ecstasy every weekend, sometimes more frequently. I’d smoke marijuana everyday and have the rare hit of acid whenever it came around.      Well, my story begins. All was well in the city
I have just recently found the term for what I have been feeling persistently for the last 12yrs. I became acutely aware of the detachment one day driving home from work- I was in a rush to get home to pick up my daughter from the sitters- when I realized that I just didn’t “feel
“I’m scared of myself, I’m scared of people, I’m scared of the world I live in and the life I’m leading. These thoughts hide behind fake laughs, awkward movements and sunken eyes, they consume me. I feel their intensity as I stare at this blank page. Every movement of my pen is the result of
I found this site many months ago at a point of great desperation. I am glad to add my story to those many others that have helped me to understand that I’m not the only one, and that I am not going crazy. I am a 20 year-old female and I have determined that I

Share your story