Arturo

First of all I’m sorry for my English won’t be as good as I wanted to be.

My personal story started in Spain (where I am) 28 years ago in 1975 when I was ten years old.

I was in classroom, sitting on my chair, in a clear and shinny morning of September and suddenly a slight dizziness and then in a second all my perceptions changed: now I was inside myself like trapped inside my brain. What was that? How can a child understood what was happening inside him but explain it?

Suddenly feeling alone inside my brain, alone in a distant and unreal world, like if a thick glass where located between the real touchable world and my pure consciousness. Like having a helmet put on, feeling like my brain is inside a bubble, with the sensation you have when you are diving in the water, mind alone, you only with your mind encapsulated in your head bones and living in a dream, an eternal non ending dream.

And every day you must tell yourself yes, you are alive, this life is yours, you are standing here in the world, that something pushed you off to the other side, and that man is your father, that other your brother, why I feel them so distant? Why so strange?

And some evenings when you are on the bed you feel sometimes floating like a feather and some others expanding yourself like a giant as if you were growing quickly beyond the limits of your bedroom.

And cyclic depressions, and anxiety episodes fly around you, and you go to doctors, psychiatrics, psychologists, and a lot of strange name tests:EEC,ECG…, and after all experts say: boy you are allright!!

And after taking short term doses of antidepressants, your hopes of returning to the real world you hardly remember, fall down and you learn hour by hour to live in wonderland, to compensate the filters put in front of you only with the answer: I am here now, I am here now.

And after years of feeling alone, like a robot, trying not to panic, not to think in death, controlling yourself everyday, then you type in your computer a few strange words and a door opens and you find your brothers in pain, you find that you are not alone, and some tears in your eyes tell you that some light comes into your life, and that your life’s name is DPD, and your brothers welcome you after 28 years of pain, and you now understand everything, and although your hopes are the same you are now not alone, not alone, not alone, at last not alone…

 Thank You My Brothers, I wish someday all together break on through to the other side, where all of us come from.

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