Cat

Familiar surroundings, become strange places. I could see my usual self-change. I become this person that I knew it wasn’t, me- all together a different persona. This person didn’t care about anything, and was fun to be with. This persona was Fearless, and everyone in school liked who ever this was. This feeling gave me a sense of relieve from all the pressures I had – I was being mentally sexually and physically abuse by my own father. Since I was six and no one cared. This was making me suicidal. I had pressure at school, and was constantly trying to fit in. School and home became unbearable, so I ended up marrying someone I didn’t even love at sixteen- to get out of the home. Obviously I got divorce after and went on with my self destruction. I never had guidance, so I got into drugs and alcohol at eighteen. Today I’m fighting hep C doing Interferon treatment, The treatment is brutal like chemo. Some times I think is better to give up, and then I get the depersonalization. I know I’m losing time in my life, when I become so distant from my own self, but it has become part of my defense mechanism. It sets in whenever it wants to. I was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder and found out my mother has it to. I can believe it made me happy to know that she had the Bipolar, because it gave her an excuse for not doing anything. I know now that’s the reason she was not able to be there to help me through them years. Thank you all for sharing. 

Share this post

Share on facebook
Share on google
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on pinterest
Share on print
Share on email

More Stories

Hi my name is Sarah, I will just explain the symptoms that i have experienced of depersonalization. I find that when I am concentrating on a project especially something that has to do with my hands or if I have awoken from a nap that is during the day I start to hear a low
My name is Johan and I have had the symptoms of DP for 20 years.  First I’d like to apologize for making abuse on the English language since English is not my native tongue, (Swedish is). I recall the first time I felt strange, it was when our class was in an amusement park, my
I am 20 years old starting my third year of college, and have been dealing with what I’m positive is depersonalization disorder for about 6 months  I have not yet confirmed this, but after visiting this website just last night, something finally clicked. I have seen a few doctors who have tested my thyroid gland,
It started when was about 15. I’m not sure if smoking pot has anything to do with it. I don’t understand why it’s happening and I want answers.  I got kicked out of my foster mums house for getting my nose pierced, I felt normal, I had a social life, I wasn’t afraid to drink alcohol I wasn’t
After reading a few of the DP stories, I find myself compelled to write. I found your site by searching on ‘depersonalization disorder’ which is a term I came across while re-reading a book by Suzanne Segal called Collision with the Infinite.  I was curious to see what sort of information was on the internet these days. I
First let me say that I’m thrilled there is a forum for people with this disorder.  It helps so much knowing that it’s NOT just in your head, that you’re not alone. When I was about 14 I began asking myself “Who am I?” over and over to the point where I would panic because I

Share your story