Desiree

I have just developed depersonalization disorder.  I am 17 years old and I am scared to death. The first time I felt this sensation was a few days ago, about a week after getting high for the first time.  I am constantly nervous, anxious, and my heart races.  I feel disconnected from the world, like nobody is real to me.  I try to get solace from my boyfriend but it just feels like he isn’t real.   Everything seems to go real slowly and I just don’t feel real anymore.  When people talk to me I am hearing their voice but I it feels like I’m not hearing it, it doesn’t sound real.   I constantly have to keep moving and I get nauseous a lot.  I feel so empty inside and I am more irritable then I used to be.  I’ve read many of these stories and it made me want to cry because I thought I was the only person that had these feelings.  I touch, smell, see, think but none of these feel real to me anymore.  The thought of being a human suddenly feels odd to me.   I’ve forgotten what it was to laugh.  I pray but it doesn’t feel like I am praying to anything because nothing seems real anymore.  I can’t think or remember like I used to.  It bugs me out that humans can think inside their minds and see pictures in there minds.  I know it sounds stupid but that’s what I feel.  I feel so disconnected. I know God will help me through this because through Him all things are possible.  But sometimes I feel He isn’t there and I am just an experiment. I am like this all the time now. But one thing is for sure, in my belief, when Jesus takes me into His arms everything will be OK and I WILL feel real again, I just have to wait now.

Share this post

Share on facebook
Share on google
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on pinterest
Share on print
Share on email

More Stories

When I first found this site, I did not know whether I wanted to view or contribute to it because each of your stories causes me to start panicking a little. But I suppose I find solace in that fact that I am not alone, and if I can provide that for someone else, then
I am a 51 year old woman, and have never spoken to a doctor about my episodes of unreality. They have, thank God, lessened greatly over the years, and have never become chronic. I remember as a child of about 5 being in the garden and suddenly thinking I had just been born.  I couldn’t remember
I have been struggling to deal with this for the last 3 and a half months. I am not sure if it is exactly the same as I have some certain physical symptoms such as balance, poor vision, numbness around the head, but the overwhelming feeling is a real sense that I have lost my soul. 
Finding this website has been a huge relief for me. For the longest time now I was convinced that I may have a brain tumor or something; perhaps not. I have been seeing a psychiatrist for some time.  She prescribed me Zoloft which I have been on for a little over a year. It has
My first experience with DP occurred when I was 15. I had been away from home on holiday with my twin brother and friend; the first time I had spent time away from home, and on returning felt that everything looked different in some way, that familiar places I had passed very day on the
I have suffered from DP all of my life. When I was a child I would just space out and see all of these lights and colors. I never liked being around other children because they seemed far too connected to their physical form and physical movements than I was. I enjoyed sitting by myself

Share your story