Ike


My name is Ike. Has anybody ever thought they were “forgetting” their family? I too suffer from DP/DR. This is one symptom I have never been able to find any additional information about. The depression & depersonalization started when my Mom became ill / passed away, and it has consistently got worse. I’m 39, I never moved away from home, never  had a “real” job (a complicated issue) and losing my Mom was something I had feared all my life. I am living with my Dad now, and am constantly telling him “I Love You” (literally every 5 minutes) & saying crap like please take care of yourself & some Family issues for me, as I might not be here. It sounds like I’m threatening suicide, or just deciding I don’t want the responsibility. I question everything I say,  including whether I really loved my Parents (I do), as well as how I perceive myself. I question my very existence. I find it hard to watch TV, drive or even lay down.For example, it can freak me out that there are “other” people or places! I see no possible outcome except being “institutionalized” (an idea I wish I had never thought of). Married? Children? Me? These are things I only rarely thought of, now it is kind of like an unwanted obsessive thought  (why am I not normal?). It all seems as if the past 39 years never existed. This whole thing has lasted for about 3 years, and it’s the 3rd depressive episode I have had in my life, and it’s really getting tiresome. I am an incredible burden on my family. One of the hardest things is I “logically” know what it would take to get better (become independent / make friends / grow up etc..) yet I seemingly can’t do anything about it.

Share this post

Share on facebook
Share on google
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on pinterest
Share on print
Share on email

More Stories

Hi my name is Keri, I have had DP for about 8 years now.  I was so happy when I found this website.  I have searched for years about this disorder and I could not find anything about it.  It really helps to know that you are not alone.  I have read just about every
 I’m 31 years old.  I am just baffled right now.  I have had this condition for 5 years now, and didn’t even know it.  I was reading a book called healing fear and it mentioned something about depersonalization disorder.  Not knowing what that was I looked it up on line.  Well, I guess I am
First off, I just have to tell you what an amazing encouragement your site has been to me.  When I found this website and read about DP and others experiences with it, I couldn’t stop myself from crying.  I kept wanted to say “YES! YES! I FELT THAT WAY TOO!”  I can’t even explain how
My name is Ilijas, and in all honesty, it makes me physically ill to think about what I’m experiencing. This is my third major episode, and I feel like I’m burning and dying from the anxiety that this dissociative experience brings. I’ll try to keep it short: my first episode was when I was 16. I
I remember in 11th grade when my English class had to read Albert Camus’ “The Stranger” and everyone thought it was boring.  I stole my copy from my school. I couldn’t identify with the situation (I never stabbed anyone on the beach), but I could identify with the underlying theme or pointlessness.The one feeling that
As many of you, I really think that writing this letter will make me feel better. For 5 years I have been diagnosed with phobias, anxiety and panic attacks. I used to be pretty normal child, hyperactive, but OK. Then suddenly it came. First, fear of cardiovascular disease, then the worst fear of all, fear

Share your story