Ike


My name is Ike. Has anybody ever thought they were “forgetting” their family? I too suffer from DP/DR. This is one symptom I have never been able to find any additional information about. The depression & depersonalization started when my Mom became ill / passed away, and it has consistently got worse. I’m 39, I never moved away from home, never  had a “real” job (a complicated issue) and losing my Mom was something I had feared all my life. I am living with my Dad now, and am constantly telling him “I Love You” (literally every 5 minutes) & saying crap like please take care of yourself & some Family issues for me, as I might not be here. It sounds like I’m threatening suicide, or just deciding I don’t want the responsibility. I question everything I say,  including whether I really loved my Parents (I do), as well as how I perceive myself. I question my very existence. I find it hard to watch TV, drive or even lay down.For example, it can freak me out that there are “other” people or places! I see no possible outcome except being “institutionalized” (an idea I wish I had never thought of). Married? Children? Me? These are things I only rarely thought of, now it is kind of like an unwanted obsessive thought  (why am I not normal?). It all seems as if the past 39 years never existed. This whole thing has lasted for about 3 years, and it’s the 3rd depressive episode I have had in my life, and it’s really getting tiresome. I am an incredible burden on my family. One of the hardest things is I “logically” know what it would take to get better (become independent / make friends / grow up etc..) yet I seemingly can’t do anything about it.

Share this post

Share on facebook
Share on google
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on pinterest
Share on print
Share on email

More Stories

Hi my name is Brandon and I am not sure if I have DP, but I would like to share my story so that anyone else who has experienced it can find solace.  I had an episode last night for the 3rd or 4th time in my life and decided to do an internet search. I was looking
So it DOES have a name!  This site told me two words that three therapists, one nurse practitioner, and SIX psychiatrists couldn’t – Depersonalization Disorder!  Throughout the years, I’ve been on nine different meds (each one by itself, and then in combinations), and have been diagnosed with seven different disorders (none of which ever seemed right).  Nothing ever helped, except the
Hi, I’m Seth. I’m 29 and I believe I have had DP since I was around 10. I first heard the term five years ago, attempting to find a name for what I was feeling. At first I though I was schizophrenic, dysphoric, bipolar…but none of these totally encompassed my symptoms. I came across the
I wrote this around six months of being homeless. The only time that I was back my body completely for any real expanse of time in which I felt a real shift in my identity was around winter ’96. I experienced three days in which I had a continuous sense of being all of a
This is brilliant! All these people outside looking in, I’m gushing over. I’m 22, I do take a lot of drugs (I make no excuses). I didn’t realize there was a name for this feeling until I found this site. To be perfectly honest I’ve been walking around in a kind of stunned haze these
Wow. Just found this site, and like most of the posts here I am amazed how well it describes what I have been feeling – in my case, since I was twelve. Now I’m 26 and have always just assumed that I felt ‘existential angst’ a bit more strongly than other people. So many of

Share your story