Irina

I’ve had episodes of DP over the past 8 years. The most disturbing one was 
the one triggered by weed. I’ve had Dp before I started smoking weed and now 
that I’ve had an awfull trip I think i better stay away from the drug.
I think I’m figuring it out though. It’s NOT the ultimate reality, it’s NOT 
the truth. It’s a projection of an inner disturbance out onto the world. 
It’s like when your personal world gets shut down while you still possess 
consciousness and observation ability. The hell comes from not being able to 
make what you observe ‘yours’, seeing everything as unfamiliar and not being 
able to pass it thru ‘you’ because you feel like there is no ‘you’. I think 
that happens because your emotional self has been shut down. The emotional 
self is that part of your self that is responsible for your personality. We 
actually think emotionally. In DP you think unemotionally, or your emotions 
are so removed that you are constantly in a state of a massive freak out, 
coz you know something’s wrong, but you forget that you can actually FEEL. 
When we make decisions(which we do all the time, every second) we have to 
pass that decision thru our emotions, that’s how we actually feel that we 
are doing something that makes sense. In DP you are aware, you are thinking 
but you’re not passing that thru your emotions, or thru your personal mind, 
hence the sense of loss of self and out of body experiences. Once you FEEL 
something you’ll feel a lot better. You gotta trigger emotions in yourself. 
That’s what helped me. Look at something, or think about something that you 
love – deeply(or have loved deeply), and it could help. Or think about 
something that makes your cry. Cry. I cannot cry when I’m in DP,but once i 
start, once I force myself it releases myself. And also always keep in mind 
– no feeling is final.

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