Jonathan

Hello, I’m Jonathan, 20 years old, and I live in Massachusetts. I’ve read some of these stories and noticed that a lot of people get DP from drug usage or a traumatic experience. I firmly believe I’ve had mine since birth, or at least- as far back as I can remember. My father has DP, my sister has DP, and I have DP. I’m willing to bet my children will as well. How DP has affected me, I do not know. I have coped with this alteration of perception along time ago, I thought it was normal. But as I grow older, it’s getting worse and it’s bothering me. I use to love the feeling believe it or not, of being separated. Now it’s becoming scary. Those questions plague my mind and even cause me to have panic attacks; “Am I even alive?” “Is this all some elaborate dream?”.    I’ve tried to tell my girlfriend about it, but everytime I do, she thinks I’m crazy. My other friends don’t believe me or think I’m nuts and crack jokes about. I even tell psychiatrist about it and *they* have never heard of it. So I keep it to myself now and it’s almost depressing. But at least it makes me unique. Other then being scared of DP, I really can’t complain about it. I don’t know life without it. I can’t even comprehend what everyone else “sees”. So this is my life and I live with it. Like someone else mentioned, DP can help you excel in some skills. Like photography or even acting, which is a career I’m pursuing. Wynona Ryder has DP, did anyone know that? The only real thing that bothers me though, is the panic attacks I get from it, and even thinking about those questions I’ve mentioned above, scares me. I wonder if anyone else gets panic attacks because of DP. But of course, none of those questions can be answered so why kill ourselves with it. Theres no point.

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