Linda 2

I am a 51 year old woman, and have never spoken to a doctor about my episodes of unreality. They have, thank God, lessened greatly over the years, and have never become chronic. I remember as a child of about 5 being in the garden and suddenly thinking I had just been born.  I couldn’t remember the person I had been before that time (although I am quite sure that I hadn’t forgotten my parents or other important people or things). Around that time I also remember being in a lane having strange thoughts about things not having a beginning or an end, but just going round and round.  I couldn’t’ t explain how I felt to my mother, although I tried.My feelings of depersonalization didn’t start until I was about 10 or 11.  They were episodes that lasted from a few seconds to several minutes, but were the most awful feelings I had ever had.  I never felt that I was the only one to feel this way though, because my elder sister had what she called the ‘far-away’ feeling, and shortly after my first episode, my younger sister had her first attacks.There was usually a recognizable trigger for me, which was either an unexpected sensation – a bright light, a loud noise – or an unexpected, sudden event.  I would have to shut my eyes and stand exactly where I was because I didn’t really believe I was in control of myself.  Everything around me seemed like a dream.  Luckily my friends got used to it.In common with many people who have written in to the site, I dwelt as a youngster on thoughts of life, the universe and everything.  I had dreadful panic attacks, usually in the middle of the night, about ‘nothingness’ and ‘eternity’. Unlike several others, I had never experienced any truly traumatic experiences prior to my first episodes, and nor have I smoked dope or taken ecstasy or acid. I am lucky. As I said, these attacks have lessened greatly, and are now only an occasional occurrence.I hope that soon there will be a proper cure for those people living with this condition on a daily basis.

Share this post

Share on facebook
Share on google
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on pinterest
Share on print
Share on email

More Stories

Hi I just recently found this website and to say the least I am fascinated.  I have spent the greater portion of the last 2 years of my life, examining, reading, studying, analyzing, and gathering information as to why I feel the way I do or don't in the case. It has given me tremendous relieve continue reading
The first time I suffered from DP was four months following the birth of my first child.  It was a horrible experience.  I thought I was losing my mind.  I even considered suicide.  After confiding in my mother I was sent to a psychologist.  The psychologist later sent me to a psychiatrist.  The psychiatrist diagnosed continue reading
Hello My name is Anna I'm gone, not here, don't want to I guess, too tired sad. I cannot speak, cannot relate, cannot use words. There are no words for me, I cannot. cannot....I'm getting lost. Am I crazy?  Will I end up in a loony bin?  My body is not mine.  I'm an actor in continue reading
I am a registered nurse and have been for the last five years. The DP started when I was about 19 years old some where around there.  I don't want to make this a long and boring story because people tend not to want to read everyone else's "boring" problem (smile).  Anyway, some how I continue reading
  This is my story, while it is very similar, it is different as well. I am a 21 (22 in Jan.) yr. old female. I was never abused growing up, but I did experiment with drugs. But that has been a while ago. In high school I smoked pot a lot, but then quit when continue reading
For years I have attempted to recount my experience with depersonalization as a full-time condition.  And every time I've tried, I've stopped, for the simple reason that I first knew this illness nearly 30 years ago, and to relay everything I've experienced, felt and learned in that time would literally take hundreds of pages.  But continue reading

Share your story