Mac G

I am a registered nurse and have been for the last five years. The DP started when I was about 19 years old some where around there.  I don’t want to make this a long and boring story because people tend not to want to read everyone else’s “boring” problem (smile). 

Anyway, some how I manage to work and go to school despite the DP (depersonalization). I remember suffering from depression in the 80’s and also OCD (hair pulling in particular, and yes back then there was not a lot of treatment or information. 

The only thing I can remember is:  I was washing dishes one day (which I hated) an I said to myself,  “This is great”, I can be here and not be here.  I didn’t realized that I was embarking on a period of hell which lasted with periods of remission and exacerbations for the next twenty years.  I guess  I am about 55 percent “here”, maybe less.  I might be in denial.  Within the last three years the DP has got so bad and effected my driving; the “worst ” to the point where I drive with my sun visor down to decrease my perception of unreality.

Anyway somehow I manage to work a fulltime job, be a full time mom, and “pretend that I am “normal”.  Oh yea I forgot to mention that I developed Tourettes Syndrome in my last quarter of nursing school.  After that I became pregnant with my daughter and the DP seemed to be mild compared to what it is now. I wonder if I will be able to continue to drive or even work?  It seemed at though when I was working it appeared less severe, but now it permeates all of my activities.  I am also a dancer and when I am dancing or doing something I enjoy it is “less bothersome”.  I also recently found out that valium (5mg) is quite helpful.  Depression an anxiety are its predecessor and I truly believe that if these are kept in check than the DP will subside. I must also mention that I take Seroquel for the tourettes syndrome, and I truly believe this caused the DP to become worse.

I would truly appreciate some input from anyone else who might have info on if anti-psychotic medications may  worsen DP.

Anyway, peace out. I’m still fighting and I’m not giving up.  By the way I pray an awful lot and believe that I am destined for greatness and someone else will benefit from my years of suffering.  GOD is good and his mercy is everlasting.  So often when I read these notes they end off on a negative. 

I leave you with, peace , hope and love. 


Share this post

Share on facebook
Share on google
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on pinterest
Share on print
Share on email

More Stories

I am told that when I was 3 I took a walk with my Grandmother around the block after a big rainstorm. She stopped and holding my hand we looked into a puddle. I said, “Gramma, I see my reflection”.  I believe I had a sense of “self” then. But, when I was about 7
Familiar surroundings, become strange places. I could see my usual self-change. I become this person that I knew it wasn’t, me- all together a different persona. This person didn’t care about anything, and was fun to be with. This persona was Fearless, and everyone in school liked who ever this was. This feeling gave me
Hello all. I amazed by this website. I have thought for the last 27 years that I was alone with this experience. I must say that after reading, I had/have more of a derealization thing than depersonalization [ There seems to be some cross over]  It started for me from a pot smoking session when
Depersonalization started for me when I was about 12. I had been smoking weed with my friend Jes for about 3yrs, and the first time I experienced DP we were sitting in her back yard on a picnic table smoking out of a home made can pipe. My friend dropped the weed, as I went
I am 20 years old starting my third year of college, and have been dealing with what I’m positive is depersonalization disorder for about 6 months  I have not yet confirmed this, but after visiting this website just last night, something finally clicked. I have seen a few doctors who have tested my thyroid gland,
I’ve had episodes of DP over the past 8 years. The most disturbing one was the one triggered by weed. I’ve had Dp before I started smoking weed and now that I’ve had an awfull trip I think i better stay away from the drug.I think I’m figuring it out though. It’s NOT the ultimate reality, it’s

Share your story