Salem

This is brilliant! All these people outside looking in, I’m gushing over. I’m 22, I do take a lot of drugs (I make no excuses). I didn’t realize there was a name for this feeling until I found this site.

To be perfectly honest I’ve been walking around in a kind of stunned haze these last few months, giggling at the possibility that while this mental, screwed-up existence rolls onward, my own vibrant thread of thought is being overwhelmed by the staggering impossibility of this world. I didn’t think that I had a mental illness when this first happened although I knew something had changed. I started questioning my own sanity, worried about the oppressive, unrelenting ‘realness’ of life until I came to a conclusion that this whole world is insane 🙂 

10% of the population lives in extreme wealth, the other 90% in extreme poverty. Where’s the sanity in that? Countries in Africa (I’m ashamed not to know which ones) have as much as 25% of the population infected with AIDS!  Jesus, these are real living people being infected with a fatal disease, unable to get the drugs they need because of the trade agreements made by the wealthy West (dats us folks) designed to keep the price of pharmaceutical products artificially high.

I have developed a survival tactic which I have to say has changed my life. For the first time in my life I think I have something bordering on happiness. My answer, for what its worth, is not to block it out. Dive into the world around you.  Let it intoxicate you with smells, sounds and sights. Its OK. There’s a subtle beauty around us that’s there for those who know where to look. Look at trees.  I love trees!  Drop a tiny seed into the ground, 100 years later (nothing, not even a blink in the timescale of this universe), you have a tree. Its roots have dived into the life-giving earth, its branches have burst upwards to collect the life-giving light. That’s amazing, I hope this comes across as what I’m trying to say, if I had more time to gather my thoughts this inner monologue might be better structured and hit home more clearly but the way it stands I’m pounding the keys, getting it out of me, soon I’ll send this message and I swear I’ll never come back to this site. Thanks to the people who’ve made contributions, I’m humbled by their honesty, they are all diamonds, to you whose reading this word here <-, you too are a diamond, a crazy flawed brilliant diamond, Shine on! 

Salem Pac

Share this post

Share on facebook
Share on google
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on pinterest
Share on print
Share on email

More Stories

Hi… I’m Gabby. I am 16 and I have DP… On June 1st, 2001 I was hit by a car. My whole entire elementary school saw the whole thing from beyond the backyard gates during recess as I walked back from getting pizza with my then best friend Jovon. I was only 11 years old. Now at …
When I was told by my psychiatrist that i had DP, I was finally, after one horrible year, content. At last, closure had dawned on me. I suffered for a year, which i know to most people doesn’t seem that long. But, my symptoms were severe and dibilitating, and a feel like the year my condition went …
My name is Maya and I’m 16. I’ve never done drugs majorly, I’ve tried pot like at most 10 times, and I’ve never had a traumatic experience besides this ‘new business’. About 5 weeks ago I had a panic attack. It was late and I got ready for bed like usual, but when I went to …
Tonight while I was at dinner with my mother I decided to talk about this. I have had this feeling for about a year now.  I just started noticing it, but me and my mom have talked about it before and she told me what it was called and sent me this site. I got …
I found this site many months ago at a point of great desperation. I am glad to add my story to those many others that have helped me to understand that I’m not the only one, and that I am not going crazy. I am a 20 year-old female and I have determined that I …
I have had DP for most (if not all) of my life. I can say for certain that I have had it since about the age of 11 but probably had symptoms prior to that age. I am now a month shy of 33. At the age of 13-14 I remember trying to explain to …

Share your story