Salem

This is brilliant! All these people outside looking in, I’m gushing over. I’m 22, I do take a lot of drugs (I make no excuses). I didn’t realize there was a name for this feeling until I found this site.

To be perfectly honest I’ve been walking around in a kind of stunned haze these last few months, giggling at the possibility that while this mental, screwed-up existence rolls onward, my own vibrant thread of thought is being overwhelmed by the staggering impossibility of this world. I didn’t think that I had a mental illness when this first happened although I knew something had changed. I started questioning my own sanity, worried about the oppressive, unrelenting ‘realness’ of life until I came to a conclusion that this whole world is insane 🙂 

10% of the population lives in extreme wealth, the other 90% in extreme poverty. Where’s the sanity in that? Countries in Africa (I’m ashamed not to know which ones) have as much as 25% of the population infected with AIDS!  Jesus, these are real living people being infected with a fatal disease, unable to get the drugs they need because of the trade agreements made by the wealthy West (dats us folks) designed to keep the price of pharmaceutical products artificially high.

I have developed a survival tactic which I have to say has changed my life. For the first time in my life I think I have something bordering on happiness. My answer, for what its worth, is not to block it out. Dive into the world around you.  Let it intoxicate you with smells, sounds and sights. Its OK. There’s a subtle beauty around us that’s there for those who know where to look. Look at trees.  I love trees!  Drop a tiny seed into the ground, 100 years later (nothing, not even a blink in the timescale of this universe), you have a tree. Its roots have dived into the life-giving earth, its branches have burst upwards to collect the life-giving light. That’s amazing, I hope this comes across as what I’m trying to say, if I had more time to gather my thoughts this inner monologue might be better structured and hit home more clearly but the way it stands I’m pounding the keys, getting it out of me, soon I’ll send this message and I swear I’ll never come back to this site. Thanks to the people who’ve made contributions, I’m humbled by their honesty, they are all diamonds, to you whose reading this word here <-, you too are a diamond, a crazy flawed brilliant diamond, Shine on! 

Salem Pac

Share this post

Share on facebook
Share on google
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on pinterest
Share on print
Share on email

More Stories

My name is Robert (Bob or Rob for short), and I am a 26 year old man, married to a beautiful wife, and together we have two beautiful children. But that is not why I am here today… I am here because I have to share my depersonalization story with all of you in hopes of
Thank you so much for this site. I cannot stress how helpful this forum is for those of us who suffer from this disorder. I have had DP for 16 years and when it ‘peaks’, it is just awful to deal with.I developed Depersonalization from smoking Marijuana when I was 15. I had smoked it
My entire life I have experienced DP, I am 33.  I was given up for adoption while born with Temporal Lobe Epilepsy, spending the first six months of my life in the hospital being treated with Phenobarbital and Depakote, diagnosed ADHD in 1974 but left untreated and diagnosed with the personality disorder Schizotypal in 1994.  Since
I will be 49 years old on Monday Aug. 2.  It is strange that I finally have an answer to what has been going on with me for all the years of my life. I grew up in a family in which my father was an alcoholic and committed suicide when I was 12 years
Ecstasy induced 24/7 DP/DR. I have never been into drugs but some of my friends are.  They kept telling me stories of great Ecstasy experiences.  They made it sound so amazing and appealing – curiosity eventually got the better of me.  I decided to take half an E.  I didn’t think it was really dangerous. 
Depersonalization started for me when I was about 12. I had been smoking weed with my friend Jes for about 3yrs, and the first time I experienced DP we were sitting in her back yard on a picnic table smoking out of a home made can pipe. My friend dropped the weed, as I went

Share your story