I haven't had any episodes or feeling of DP for a very, very long time! Later in my letter I'll explain how and why I found this site. (How would one who's not having symptoms end up here?)Some think it's important to note that I had a very harsh childhood. I have yet to meet and talk with a person who has had as traumatic …
I remember in 11th grade when my English class had to read Albert Camus' "The Stranger" and everyone thought it was boring.  I stole my copy from my school. I couldn't identify with the situation (I never stabbed anyone on the beach), but I could identify with the underlying theme or pointlessness.The one feeling that I could identify with the most was Camus' constant focus …
From the start of my life until 1997, I would describe myself as having, for want of a better word, a ‘normal’ state of mind.  I experienced ups and downs, had likes and dislikes, and felt entitled to my hopes and expectations.  I was happy enough in my day to day life and was looking forward to the future. The thing which I used to love about life …
Although I now feel almost completely normal again, I believe that I recently had a depersonalization episode that lasted for about a month. Being in that condition was more or less the most difficult part of my life so my heart goes out to anyone that suffers from depersonalization on a daily basis. It seems to me that earlier this summer an abundance of factors …
I believe my true episodes of depersonalization/derealization disorder started when I was about 13. I know that even before that age I had had feelings that "I wasn't really there" in fact I used to tell my family that all the time and they thought I was just overreacting. Anyway, when I was 12 my parents got divorced and I honestly didn't mind, because my …
Wow. Just found this site, and like most of the posts here I am amazed how well it describes what I have been feeling - in my case, since I was twelve. Now I'm 26 and have always just assumed that I felt 'existential angst' a bit more strongly than other people. So many of the descriptions here - hyperconsciousness, anxiety, inability to relax, preoccupation …
My earliest memories of DP start when I was about six or seven. That period in my childhood was somewhat difficult for me. My parents had just concluded their divorce and my mother was in the process of getting remarried to a man I had not yet even met. She had moved to an island in the Pacific to be with this man while I …
The first time it happened to me I was about 8. I was visiting Disney World with my mother. I remember I could see my breathe in the air when I turned toward her. I told her I felt like I was dreaming but the words that came out seemed distant and meaningless. I knew she wouldn't understand.  The words I said were so foreign …
When I was 12, I smoked pot; did meth, drank pretty much, did whatever I could get a hold of drug and alcohol wise, then one night when I was 16, I smoked a joint and got this weird feeling in my head; I thought that my husband might have poisoned me. So I went and made myself throw up thinking that …
I was the sixth child.  My brother was born 18 years earlier and two boys and two girls died in infancy before I was born.  My mother did not want another child because she could not bear another loss.  Nonetheless I was conceived and in spite of her efforts to abort, was born healthy.  She hovered over me.  In fact one psychiatrist said it was smother …
Wow. Just found this site, and like most of the posts here I am amazed how well it describes what I have been feeling - in my case, since I was twelve. Now I'm 26 and have always just assumed that I felt 'existential angst' a bit more strongly than other people. So many of the descriptions here - hyperconsciousness, anxiety, inability to relax, preoccupation …
Hi I just recently found this website and to say the least I am fascinated.  I have spent the greater portion of the last 2 years of my life, examining, reading, studying, analyzing, and gathering information as to why I feel the way I do or don't in the case. It has given me tremendous relieve to read this web page. Although extraordinarily scary at first, …

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