Anna

Hello My name is Anna I’m gone, not here, don’t want to I guess, too tired sad. I cannot speak, cannot relate, cannot use words. There are no words for me, I cannot. cannot….I’m getting lost. Am I crazy?  Will I end up in a loony bin? 

My body is not mine.  I’m an actor in my own life.  I act as if I have thoughts.  It feels like the world is inside me; like everybody can see everything. They can read my mind. I am a part of the environment and I cannot resist apparently. I don’t have words. I’m terrified.  Too terrified to walk.  I don’t have any sensations. My eyes look like I’m on pills is what a person told me. Big and wide. I don’t get information from inside, no thoughts just act that is almost getting to be a part of me.  I’m scared, I cannot talk to anybody; nobody understands me. I want to die, no, I don’t feel what I want.  Is that a yes or no fucking body??? What a life…….is is worth it? Am I crazy? I know that I’m scared as hell.  Can anybody help me?  Tell me what’s going on?

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