Hello My name is Anna I’m gone, not here, don’t want to I guess, too tired sad. I cannot speak, cannot relate, cannot use words. There are no words for me, I cannot. cannot….I’m getting lost. Am I crazy? Will I end up in a loony bin?
My body is not mine. I’m an actor in my own life. I act as if I have thoughts. It feels like the world is inside me; like everybody can see everything. They can read my mind. I am a part of the environment and I cannot resist apparently. I don’t have words. I’m terrified. Too terrified to walk. I don’t have any sensations. My eyes look like I’m on pills is what a person told me. Big and wide. I don’t get information from inside, no thoughts just act that is almost getting to be a part of me. I’m scared, I cannot talk to anybody; nobody understands me. I want to die, no, I don’t feel what I want. Is that a yes or no fucking body??? What a life…….is is worth it? Am I crazy? I know that I’m scared as hell. Can anybody help me? Tell me what’s going on?