In all honesty, it makes me physically ill to think about what I'm experiencing. This is my third major episode, and I feel like I'm burning and dying from the anxiety that this dissociative experience brings. I'll try to keep it short: my first episode was when I was 16. I remember it coming on very suddenly - one afternoon in the middle of winter when …
So reading all of the stories listed have helped somewhat, “somewhat” in that in about 10 minutes I will have forgotten all about this. My name is Joshua. I am 31 years of age. I have lost 28 years of that life and would actually consider every moment since 28 lost as well. It’s the nightmare called Depersonalization. My therapist described it as having all of these …
What a relief to find that there is a name for what I am experiencing and that I am not alone in this; although, I'd not wish this on anyone.  So here we are....all in this physical world but NOT! ....all in our little bubbles. Last night something happened that made me realize how bad my DP is right now and motivated me to write and make contact …
The first time I suffered from DP was four months following the birth of my first child.  It was a horrible experience.  I thought I was losing my mind.  I even considered suicide.  After confiding in my mother I was sent to a psychologist.  The psychologist later sent me to a psychiatrist.  The psychiatrist diagnosed Postpartum Depression.  She told me I was suffering from depression, …
First let me say that I'm thrilled there is a forum for people with this disorder.  It helps so much knowing that it's NOT just in your head, that you're not alone. When I was about 14 I began asking myself "Who am I?" over and over to the point where I would panic because I felt "out of my body", so to speak.  Like someone …
I have had DP for most (if not all) of my life. I can say for certain that I have had it since about the age of 11 but probably had symptoms prior to that age. I am now a month shy of 33. At the age of 13-14 I remember trying to explain to a friend how I felt. I made a little drawing …
I remember in 11th grade when my English class had to read Albert Camus' "The Stranger" and everyone thought it was boring.  I stole my copy from my school. I couldn't identify with the situation (I never stabbed anyone on the beach), but I could identify with the underlying theme or pointlessness.The one feeling that I could identify with the most was Camus' constant focus …
I am writing a book about my thoughts and feelings, and I wanted to share them here. Feel free to email me back with any thoughts. I don't know what I have, but I definitely have a lot of symptoms of depersonalization. The story by Melissa inspired me to share my story here. I would love her email address to discuss some of this stuff. …
A few weeks ago, I was trying to explain to a friend how I'd been feeling for the past few years, day in and day out. The conversation went like this:      "I feel like I'm not alive, like I'm watching life through someone else' set of eyes, life a first person computer game. I consciencessly know that I am alive, yet at the same time I don't …
As many of you, I really think that writing this letter will make me feel better. For 5 years I have been diagnosed with phobias, anxiety and panic attacks. I used to be pretty normal child, hyperactive, but OK. Then suddenly it came. First, fear of cardiovascular disease, then the worst fear of all, fear of amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, then fear of brain tumor, …
I believe my true episodes of depersonalization/derealization disorder started when I was about 13. I know that even before that age I had had feelings that "I wasn't really there" in fact I used to tell my family that all the time and they thought I was just overreacting. Anyway, when I was 12 my parents got divorced and I honestly didn't mind, because my …
I was diagnosed with Depersonalization Disorder when I was 15. I first started getting the episodes when I was 10, and they scared me but I didn't tell anyone about them basically because I thought everyone must have these sorts of things happen to them. I mean, I thought that it's impossible to everyone to be in touch with reality all the time.Time passed and …

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