My story began when I was 18 years old in 1970. Like so many others here, my first episode of depersonalization followed recreational drug use. I smoked pot occasionally and had taken LSD 4 or 5 times without incident. I was a hippy, we didn’t really worry very much about what we felt were alarmist […]
I just found this website the other day when I was looking up information panic anxiety disorder. My life as a child was pretty normal. I went to high school, graduated etc. The summer of my graduation I got in a huge car wreck. I was on ecstasy and was very drunk. I flew out […]
Well, I guess to start off this completely f***d up story of my life living with DP. My name is Cone, well everyone and their mother calls me that. I’ll be sixteen in a week. It all started shy over 2 years ago. It started with just this melancholy detached from life sort of feeling […]
I have suffered from DP all of my life. When I was a child I would just space out and see all of these lights and colors. I never liked being around other children because they seemed far too connected to their physical form and physical movements than I was. I enjoyed sitting by myself […]
Although I now feel almost completely normal again, I believe that I recently had a depersonalization episode that lasted for about a month. Being in that condition was more or less the most difficult part of my life so my heart goes out to anyone that suffers from depersonalization on a daily basis. It seems […]
The fan blowing on my feet is the only comfort I can feel at this moment. The flannel sheets are soft on my skin, my pillow is tucked under me in just the right places, but I still can’t feel completely at ease.I can stare at the closet door all night long wondering why I […]
I never felt like I quite fit in socially in high school.  I found this wonderful thing called alcohol that made me feel happy and social.  When I spoke I didn’t feel like it would be stupid or people would laugh at me.  From this low self esteem I continued to drink.  Then prom weekend […]
I’d smoked pot since I was about 16. I had resisted for a long time, being a total control freak even at that age, but once I tried it I just had too much fun.  For a number of years I had no problems.  I simply enjoyed myself and suffered the typical paranoia of being […]
My name is Renee. I’m 35 years old. I cannot tell you how glad I am that I found this site. I also have disassociative disorder and it has “peaked” again for the third time. I was also diagnosed with PTSD. I was diagnosed with both 14 years ago. I have had many traumas in […]
When I was 13 I smoked pot for the first time. I felt completely nothing, maybe I just imagined that I felt something so I could impress my friends who had already been high numerous times. After trying to get high again and failing, I decided that me and two other friends would keep smoking […]
I’ve been reading through your website on depersonalization–a subject I first learned of only a few days ago, on a forum for people dealing with eating disorders, and the depression and other mental illness that often accompanies or precipitates them. I’d never heard of “depersonalization” before, but the post I was reading struck a chord with […]
When I was 12, I smoked pot; did meth, drank pretty much, did whatever I could get a hold of drug and alcohol wise, then one night when I was 16, I smoked a joint and got this weird feeling in my head; I thought that my husband might have poisoned me. So I went […]

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